The Carlson's adopting? Why? Aren't
four kids enough? That's crazy! It's a good kind of crazy. We wanted
to take some time to share how we came to the decision to adopt and
where we are at in the process. Yes, four kids is enough. We are
incredibly happy with our family of 6, which makes us great
candidates to have more. We aren't doing it to grow our family, we
are doing it because we recognize a need and realize we can meet it.
We never reach our full calling and potential if we aren't willing to
take risks and children are always a blessing and worth it.
Why adoption?
Adopting has been something we talked
about since we were dating and even more so when we were told we
would never have kids. We certainly proved those doctors wrong! But
in all sincerity, we didn't want to forget the burden that adoption
was on our hearts just because we were able to birth babies. It has
been on my heart since I was a small kid and Andy became passionate
about fatherhood, saw it's importance and began wanting to mentor men
to be better husbands and fathers and be a father to the fatherless,
after having kids. We want to be more than anti-death, by offering
life to kids who may be at risk of being, are labeled as, or were
unwanted. We want to be part of the solution. We believe Jesus came
so that we can have abundant life, believing He is good, that He has
our best interests at heart, that He is trustworthy, that He is
enough. Not that difficulty won't come, but that He will be with us,
care for us and lead us tenderly through the struggle. As a family
we have been stepping into what that means as far as how we live our
daily lives. We have been praying for a mission we could live out
together as a whole family and impact our world for the better. I am already home, devoted to
homeschooling and caring for our children and Andy works from home two
days a week (along with three days on site) in a job with fantastic
co-workers and work life balance, so adding more children who needed
that love and care made perfect sense. Since adoption has been
discussed since before their birth, our kids have been raised with
the awareness that this is something we were going to do and are well
prepared. Yes, our kids are young and while we could wait until they
are older, that is not what is best for our family. We believe the
fact that our kids are young will make bonding with new siblings and
adjusting to our new normal easier as young children are so accepting
and adaptable. As parents, managing a wide range of ages and needs is
more daunting than doing a similar routine with more children of the
same age range. The longer we wait, we believe the harder it will be
for our family to live out this calling. We want to share the
abundant life that has been given freely to us, to nurture children
to their full potential, to welcome them into family. We want to act
and not just be filled with good words and good ideas. To lead by
example. To follow through in doing what is right and caring for and
loving the people and world around us. We want our kids to see
parents who are doing and not just giving lip service in hopes that
they are challenged to be people who are leaders and impacters, who
rise to the task of doing what is right no matter the weight and
cost. We all know kids follow our example and not our words. I don't
want our kids to grow up seeing us acknowledge a problem that has
been brought to our attention and do NOTHING about it. Most of all,
we felt such a strong urging that we wanted to be fully obedient
because anything less would feel and be rebellious.
There are 17.8
million children worldwide that have lost both parents as
reported by Christian Alliance for Orphans. Children
are trafficked, forced into labor and live on the streets for a
variety of reasons more than just the death of their parents, meaning
that the numbers of children in need of a home are more than just the
numbers above. With over 400,000 churches in the U.S.,
if one person in every 3 churches would say “I'll take 1”, all
the U.S. waiting children would have a home according to
www.thechildrenarewaiting.org.
Adoption is also about supporting the parents who made the decision to
give up their children whether in hopes of a better life or out of
sheer desperation. In the case of death of both parents, it is also
our hope to step up in honor of those parents as we can't imagine the
heartache of not having our children's future secure upon our
untimely death.
Why international adoption?
We had long felt drawn to the idea of
international adoption but due to the high cost decided to pursue
becoming Ohio foster parents instead. We became pregnant with Gabriel
and after adjusting to life with four, we strongly felt a pull back
to international adoption. There is a lot of need in our own city
and country of course, but we felt drawn to help kids in a country
with high risk. While our system isn't perfect, there is a path for
kids to get help and the kids in our system receive food, clothing
and medical care. That cannot be said for every country and in many
countries living to age two is an accomplishment. We want to pursue
adopting from a country without a well-known system that does not
place many children a year.
Why Sierra Leone?
Sierra Leone is a country with a long,
rich, deep history. It is on the west coast of central and northern
Africa on the piece of land reaching out furthest to the west. It
was first home to indigenous African people. It was later colonized
by the British. Many Africans were taken to be slaves through Sierra Leone. The capital, Freetown, played a
significant role in the slave trade as it was a place of refuge for
freed slaves. The Krio or what we know as Creole people are descendants of freed slaves who settled in western Sierra Leone.
We felt called to helping kids in a
country affected by child marriages, polygamy, child soldiers, child
trafficking, child labor and female genital mutilation, as well as in general socioeconomic
difficulties. We were contacted about Sierra Leone and upon research
it fit our criteria and from there the doors continued to open. We
found the only agency with a program with successful adoptions from
Sierra Leone through a Sierra Leone adoption group and they do a
fantastic job of trying to keep the kids with extended family and
close to home first, ensuring the kids eligible for adoption truly
need a home. You may recognize Sierra Leone from watching the news in
the last several decades as they have been affected by civil war, the
AIDS/HIV crisis, the Ebola crisis and the recent mudslide that took
many lives.
Sierra Leone has 25 different
languages. Although English is the official language, Krio is the
most widely spoken and the English spoken may prove to be difficult
for us to understand. Other major languages include Mende, Temne,
Kono, Kissi, Kuranko, Limba, Fula (Pular) and Susu.
It is our desire to raise our kids with
a firm understanding of Sierra Leone and their culture. We intend to
have regular culture nights and incorporate Sierra Leone's food,
music, stories, and pictures into our daily lives. We don't want our
kids to forget their identity and culture and want them to appreciate
and participate in their heritage. We will respect their country and customs. We also want to raise them to be comfortable with moving back to Sierra Leone as an adult if they so desire. We hope to continue to give back to Sierra Leone and hope to see it thrive once again. In a time so racially divided, we recognize this will come with it's challenges and we are learning how to best support our kids as they navigate racial tensions in our country. Thankfully there are a lot of resources available.
Why two?
We always said we will adopt one. After
we had Gabriel we said we would not have any more kids so we could
adopt one child. Only one. Over the last year or two I keep thinking
about two kids and two adoptions. My thought was to pursue two
adoptions-one local foster care adoption and one international. At
this point I was still only committed to adopting one child. When I
would pray I kept hearing the word “two”. I didn't say anything
to Andy and tried to process what was going on. Andy came to me one
day and said, “What do you think about adopting siblings?” I
didn't say a word for a minute and thought silently. I knew we had
both been being prepared for adopting two children unbeknownst to
each other. A
financial benefit of adopting siblings is it is processed as one
adoption. Only a few costs are increased, so adopting two children at once
isn't a great deal different in cost than adopting one child. After
weighing our decision a big factor of wanting to adopt siblings is
watching the relationships between our kids we already have. Their
bond has been fierce and strong since they were born. Sure, there is
the occasional sibling spat, but they all are so uniquely close and
in tune with one another-truly each other's best friends. If
something were to happen to us, we would be heartbroken to think of
our kids being split between homes. I cannot think of the trauma and
heartbreak of siblings who have already suffered loss and trauma, to
lose the bond of living with siblings as well. As parents living in a
first world country, we have taken steps to ensure a loving home and
our children being kept together should the unthinkable happen. We
want to keep that connection for another set of parents who didn't
get that same luxury. We want to give children who don't have control
over their circumstances the blessing of keeping their biological
sibling relationship intact. We want to bring two other kids into the
unconditional love and bond our other four kids have formed. It
brings tears to my eyes to think of the power, strength, love, and
beauty of six kids bonding and living life as a forever family. As
parents, we want to shower all six of our kids with attention, love,
compassion, understanding and prepare them for a successful future.
We expect one child to be between 2-4
and the other 5-7, although age is approximate and can be hard to
determine until they get more comprehensive medical care. We desire
to stay under Emma, our oldest child's age and to try keep our birth
order as much as possible, but this will be difficult to do. If we
get matched with the younger range of these numbers, statistically it
could mean a better adjustment for everyone. Please be praying with
us that God directs us to the right fit for our family and for us to
trust Him with birth order issues.
We know that this is hard. We know that
bringing kids into our home who have likely suffered malnutrition,
loss and trauma will require special care. We struggled through this
decision until we settled on trust, surrender and sacrifice and feel
incredible peace. We know that on our own we are not enough, but He
is enough. We know the love, support and help of people in our lives
will be instrumental in this going smoothly. Please let us know if you are willing to be prayer partners, to pray daily for all of the specifics of our adoption and the adjustments and healing in the years to come.
